Confession:  I type my posts in Word and then cut and paste them into WordPress.  I just cut and pasted lost tonight’s post after 40 minutes of working on it.  I’m SUPREMELY annoyed with my own idiocy and out of energy.  I promise to reinvigorate my passion to blabber about reconstructed nipples, Stage 2, and scar revision.  AAAAAH!

UPDATED:

Today was the last of beautiful days we’ll have for probably a week (or longer).  The girls had music class this morning, and then we all went to our “secret beach,” which is actually just a place with public shore access.  It has sand, instead of sharp and/or slimy rocks, it’s small, it’s close, it’s often populated with people that want to take their kids to the water.  We had a great time, came home, the girls took a great nap, and then we commenced Round 2 of sun loving fun on our roof.

Pool party

I was able to take my walk and do about 4 miles today with the gorgeous weather.  I decided to brave a light color tank top with the warm weather (and no areolæ to tattle).  I think that UV proof clothing will be in my future because when I got home and showered it looks like part of scar around my nipple sites are a little sunburned.   While a little worrisome, it doesn’t hurt or look too horrific – just pink-ed.  Speaking of nipples, I called my plastic surgeon’s office last week and asked them if they could send me some literature about the nipple reconstruction and areolar tattooing.  Unfortunately the paperwork I received is really no more than after care instructions.  You can click below to view the literature I received from my surgeon’s office regarding nipple reconstruction:

Nipple Reconstruction

It is safe to say that whatever information I receive about this process, it is deemed either questionable or insufficient.  I have been poking around the internet looking at all kinds of things related to these procedures since I decided to have the BPM and reconstruction.  First off, I’m not sold on the nipple reconstruction.  I was 200% positive I wanted to have the prophylactic mastectomy, but I didn’t and still don’t feel the need to have non-sensory, aesthetic nipples.  Secondly, I’m a putz.  I’m worried that I will have some sort of every day, clumsy spill just after nipple reconstruction and tear one (or both) off or do something so that it flattens out completely and negates the nipple reconstruction.  I would be fine with having just the areolar tattooing and live without the nipple itself.  In the early stages of researching, I even found prosthetic nipples that seemed like a good idea, but the colors are all wrong for me. I have read here and there about the procedure and the complications.  I have watched YouTube videos about how the nipple is constructed, read forums about the healing process and timeline, and none of them seem so horrible.  But I’m still scared of damaging the nipples, necrosis, infection, sitting around for 4 more weeks.  But, I feel like I should persevere and see it through.  Why?

I have two daughters, and the BRCA1 genetic mutation is inherited.  Each of our girls has a 50% chance of inheriting this gene and being in my position in 20 years, maybe less.  My sister, Alyssa, also has two daughters facing this same situation.  I want to see this process through in case any of them turn out to be BRCA1 positive and have to think about all of these things I am now going through.  While it is my highest of all hopes and dreams that none of them have inherited the BRCA1 gene, I want to be ready, just in case, to say, “I have done this; it was scary, but not as bad as thought.  Look at me now.  Look at my reconstructed breasts.  Look at my happy, healthy, breast cancer free life.”

 

 

DAILY DOSE:

04/23/12 - Frontal

04/23/12 - Flaps

04/23/12 - Abdomen

04/23/12 - Right

04/23/12 - Left