If you’re reading along you’ll notice that my post from yesterday didn’t publish until today (just before this one).  That’s because I had a DEFCON4 freak out last night due to what I thought was my continued trouble with WordPress.  It wasn’t until today when I went into our garage that I realized my snail’s pace upload speed, time-outs and overall “www” troubles were because of a problem in our electrical panel with the wireless router.  So, it’s a double doozy this evening.

Also, in uploading my post from yesterday I noticed that I forgot to mention my first foray into having the Noobs publicly nude and noticed.  Well, kind of publicly nude.  We were in the locker room after the girls’ swimming lesson, post shower, and getting dressed.  I usually just face the wall when I’m getting dressed in the locker room, but Yaya was going all daredevil on the bench while I was trying to put my top on.  So I had to turn around, facing the other locker room occupants topless.  And nipple-less.  I’d like to believe that the mom across the way from me would be mortified if she could see the look on her own face when she saw me.  Being that we’ve been in swim lessons for over 6 months with basically the same moms and kids, the other moms in our group most likely noticed when I was not at lessons with our girls.  I’m sure after my only-very-noticeable abdominal scar was spotted last week, they all assumed I had a very rough tummy tuck.  But after yesterday and the cartoonish, popped out eyes I received, I’m sure there is a mind reeling with questions about my Barbie noobs.

It didn’t really bother me when I noticed the other mom staring.  I figured it would happen sooner or later, but it did throw me off a little.  I mean, typically, I’m cool as a summer squash whilst nude and ogled in semi-public settings.  It did bother me when I thought about our girls.  Not in the sense that I worry about my girls seeing me and staring.  I mean it in that I worry about either (or both) of our girls having to go through this, and someone staring at them after their first phase of surgery.  As a mother, a lot of things bring out the Mama Bear in me.  Someone shooting an awkward look at either of my girls for any reason raises my hackles.  It also gave me a push towards my nipple reconstruction, which is quickly approaching. I am confident that my noobs will look more like boobs with reconstructed nipples.  (Tangent:  What will I call the reconstructed nipples?  Ripples?  RecoNipples?)  I also want to go through with the nipple reconstruction in case anyone in my family has to do this.  I want to be a good example of the end result.  If, unfortunately, one of our girls has to do this – I want them to have a wealth of information about this, as well as a living, breathing, aging example.

In the words of Snoop Dogg, “But, uh, back to the lecture at hand”.  Today was my gym day.  I feel like we did a ton of squatting, lunging, and some stretching of my upper body.  I had, by no means, an easy workout –  just different.  It is hard for me to be accepting of my limitations and the physical set backs that came with my surgery.  I wish I could tell you that I was doing push ups, pull ups, dumbbell flies and the like, but I’m not.  Just working to increase my range of motion gets my heart rate up, and today I was pouring sweat using the TRX bands to stretch my chest after our workout.  I have lost a lot of muscle from my legs and muscle definition all around, but it will come back.  I am sore tonight, kind of from head to toe.  I’m so surprised at how even a slow paced work out takes so much out of me both during the work out and over the course of the remaining day.  As it has been a running theme in this recovery for me, I am aware that I need to practice patience and acceptance.  Having stated that, I would like to draw attention to the fact that my patience and acceptance are typically allotted to my children and not for myself!  But I’m trying.  I am a work in progress in so many different facets.  But, aren’t we all?  (This is where the resounding ‘YES’ should come in.)  I’ll be back at it with Paul on Friday and, hopefully, a little bit closer to ass-kicking condition than I am today.  Until then, I’m just going to rely on my 2-ton vehicle as my method of self defense.  So LOOK OUT!