I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve posted an update on my blog. Blame it all on the fact that we had an actual, hot, go-swim-in-the-lake summer during regular summer months! It was crazy good! And, as I post this, the rain is coming down, down, down. It was a great run, and we had a very fun-centered summer.
I haven’t had a chance to go back and see Dr. Louie because it’s hard with the girls’ schedule, limited child care options, and everything else that happens during summer (mostly weddings, travel, weddings, swimming, weddings, travel). But this summer I did get back into my bikini after taking last summer in mostly my 1-piece to let my abdominal scar “settle” down. I can’t say that my abdominal scar is any less noticeable, but nothing is less noticeable when you are wearing a bikini. But I have the strategic advantage of things like stretch marks and cellulite to draw an observer’s eye away from my abdominal scar and closer to the train wreck that is a post-twins-pregnancy body (which I am still learning to love).
I bought a couple of suits from Athleta because they all have a UPF rating of 50. I chose UPF suits this summer because I have tattoos (other than my areolar ones) that faded due to sun exposure, and I wanted to minimize the fading of my areolar tattoos. Even with a UPF swimsuit and a coat of sunscreen under my tops, my tattoos still faded quite a bit. I will post a picture sans-bikini top at the end of this blog entry for those of you who want to see the fading, and also so that those whom do not can take cover.
Even with some fading, my areolar tattoos still look good and pretty convincing. They’ve given me more confidence about my body/surgery when the kids and I are getting changed and/or showered in the YMCA locker room after swimming. I didn’t think having (or not having) nipples after my reconstruction mattered, especially after being so happy with my initial results. But, now that I have reconstructed nipples and the tattoos, I love my result that much more. I will schedule a follow up with Dr. Louie this fall and see what he has to say. I don’t know if I’ll take another crack at the tattoos this fall, or just leave it be. I’m happy with them as they are.
Something as unexpected as a timely Seattle summer happened as well. I have been contacted so much more frequently through my blog “post-Angelina”. I’m unsure if it is because my blog has been out there a while and (kind of) easy to find, or if that many more women are truly considering a prophylactic mastectomy after she came forward. Regardless of the “why”, I am so happy that this blog is a resource for other women. Really, it is all that I wanted it to be when I decided to write about my process. I just wanted to offer some solace, perspective, and PICTURES of what all of this looks like.
Speaking of emails received, I also received a few, very surprising emails these past months. Granted, I know that not everyone responds to photos of reconstructed breasts very well, but I did receive notification of a blog comment that read something along the lines of “$@(&# pervert! Why the #()*&@ are you posting titty pictures on here where there are children who can read? Show your )#*)! face you PERVERT!” I deleted the comment and TOTALLY RESTRAINED myself from sending an (in)appropriate response, but I was surprised on many levels. But “thank you” for calling them “titties” instead of “frankenboobies”. However, I’m certain the author of that particular comment isn’t clever enough to come up with something as cool as “frankenboobies”.
Back to me! I post pictures for my sisterhood of the reconstructed boobs. I wanted to know what my results would look like, and I figured that plenty of other women want to know what potential surgical results could look like for them as well. I don’t have many pictures of my face because THIS IS NOT A BLOG ABOUT FACIAL RECONSTRUCTION, FOOL! Very few people holding a (very) personal interest in my particular subject matter could give a shit about what my face looks like. So, take that rude blog commenter, I guess. My blog is about my bilateral, prophylactic, skin sparing mastectomy and the subsequent DIEP flap breast reconstruction. It is NOT about pictures of my face or any kind of perversions. Those are TOTALLY DIFFERENT URLs!
So, here we go. On with it those of you disinterested in the bikini-free pics.
3…
2…
1…
with some fading
shutupaboutit 
Hi Shera: I’ve actually signed up for email alerts when you do post just because, even though my circumstances are slightly different, I’ve found your blog to be an INVALUABLE resource — forthright, practical & your musical postscripts always give me a chuckle ;p
As to the numbnut who took offense, that person is absolutely an aberrant reader. In my case, a bad mammogram led to a biopsy then diagnosis of DCIS in rt boob & ultimately bilateral mast w implants due to family history. Like u though I completed nip recon & tattooing. People who have been in this boat and search for any online lifelines know how hard it is to find someone willing to post pics so you can compare your own journey and hopefully find information or even just reassurance. I’m lucky that in googling my surgeon’s name, I stumbled upon “Decisions for my Family” which led me to your blog.
At any rate, I just wanted to break my silence to say that although you may sometimes feel that you are just sending out ramblings (& very eloquent ones I might add) to the ether and getting little response or even worse a bad one, you are doing a helluva service for many of us out here.
Best regards,
PAM from NJ
ps I was so intent on responding as to the bad comment, I did forget to say that thx for the tip on the UPF swimsuit — I actually hadn’t considered that. I chickened out in college so the tats on the girls are the only ones I’ve got. And as to mine specifically, I only had them done once and the right side is a touch lighter than the other, but after noodling it over for awhile, I think I’ll keep ’em as is — if they were too perfectly outlined & shaded I think they might end up looking more unnatural…
pps Your results are fantastic & you should be so proud of how you’ve turned this miserable situation into a positive example!!!
You nips look great. I go tomorrow to talk about the nipple surgery! How bad was your nipple surgery? I am thinking this should be very easy, but I had to have a revision that I thought would be simple and it wasn’t. I really want to know, did you get drains with the nipple flaps? I don’t want the drains.
Thank you so much for the pictures they make me feel so much better about how mine will look!
Your blog and your pictures have helped many women. I have sent people to your blog that have questions. Oh and as for children seeing your pictures, my 3 girls 5, 7, 9, All saw your pictures and it helped them understand what was going to happen. You have not only helped me, but my kids, my husband, my family and my friends. Your very brave to put your pictures up.
Thank you
Heather
OMG! It turns out that I have THE NICEST people reading this blog! Heather and Pam, thank you so much for reaching out to me. I could NOT have asked for nicer people to have read this and written me back. I am more and more pleasantly surprised with our “sisterhood” with every contact made. Thank you, again!
Heather, as for nipple reconstruction, I had no drains and no pain. I still don’t have any sensation on my reconstructed nipples. It was a very quick and easy out patient procedure, and that afternoon I was home and interacting with the girls. I remember coming home, playing with the girls for a little while, and then taking a nap because the anesthesia had me sleepy. But recovery and after care were a piece of cake compared to the mastectomy and DIEP reconstruction. I felt (kind of) bad about having asked my mother in law to come down from Canada to help us out with the girls, because the day after I was really up and going. I hope your nipple reconstruction comes and goes just as easily.
And kudos to you for giving your children insight and information as to what is happen with and to your body. I truly believe that knowledge is power. And I know that my girls were less scared and/or sad about my process and limitations because we were open and honest with them about it.
Again, thank you both so much for this. You’ve put a lot of pep in my step, which means I have bubble gum pop songs running through my head…
Do you mind if I quote a couple of your posts as long as I provide credit and sources back to your weblog?
My blog is in the very same area of interest as yours
and my users would certainly benefit from some of the information
you present here. Please let me know if this ok with
you. Thanks a lot!
No problem! The more, the merrier! What’s your blog URL?
Your pictures and the great results are what helped me make my decision for a preventive mastectomy. I had it 3 days ago so here I sit I. The hospital reading your post. Could I email you I have some questions
Kelly
Just wanted to follow up and say I hope you’re doing well, Kelly! Hang in there!
I am doing better. I go to the doctor tomorrow hopefully I will get at least one of these drains out but I am still putting out over 30cc in 24 hours so I do not know. The swelling is really bad when I wake up in the morning but gets somewhat better during the day. Baby Steps huh!!!!
Baby steps for sure! If you’re still putting out that much, then (sadly!) it’s good to keep them in. I had my drains pulled a little too early (I think) and ended up with a small hematoma. Best wishes for tomorrow!
I do tattoo for a living. Unfortunately not in an area close to you. But I wanted to shed some light on your tattoo fading. I do know that using litocaine (totally butchered that spelling) or any products of that nature does make a difference to the fading of your tattoo. I found that tattooing with it and without it there is a difference on the total fallout of ink. Not using it at all deff had a brighter look to it. And as far as the tattooing to cover your scar is deff possible but it’s probably the stretch marks that is making some of the artists in ur area second guess it. As far as I can see the stretch marks are too new to tattoo over just yet. But if your looking for a reputable artist in your area try looking at tattoonow.com for some that do scar tattooing or hit up one of your local tattoo conventions to meet any awesome tattoo artists in your area or for some artists that are visiting that u wouldn’t normally Be able to travel to. Hope that helps 😉
Thanks so much for the info, Ariel. When we did my first round of tattooing, I didn’t get any lidocaine because I have no sensation (and so, no pain with tattooing). When the first tattoos totally failed, we decided to try lidocaine the second time to see if it would help hold the pigment any better. I’m not sure if the lidocaine itself has anything to do with that, but I just found that interesting. When I go back in for my follow up, I don’t know if I’ll opt into a 3rd round of areolar tattoos. But if I decided to do it, I will ask my PS what he thinks about trying no lidocaine again to prevent the fading.
Thanks again!
I refer many of my patients to your blog that have had a DIEP flap reconstruction. Many of them have come back to tell me how awesome it is to be able to see how you openly talk about it. They love it. (:
You rock my world, Eunice!!! ❤
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As a 22 year old woman, thank you. Your openness and honesty is welcomed by other women interested in their own bodies at a time at which things so regular are still taboo. Keep ignoring the ignorance of men and keep posting for women in need of answers and support.
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