Closer to Fine (Day 97)

I have started and re-started this post several times since my last post. Blogging is hard when you’re going nuts. Sometimes the hours, minutes, days, or weeks just meld into one big crazy. This weekend we had a family emergency/scare. My mom, who lives in Las Vegas with my sister Tessa, was home alone cleaning the blinds, or something equally weird, on top of a ladder. She fell off of the ladder (!) and broke her shoulder, arm, maybe her elbow, and fibula. She has been in the hospital all weekend, and yesterday she had surgery to put a plate and some screws in her arm. She is doing better, but what a scare. I inherited the uncanny ability to suffer self inflicted injuries in crazy circumstances from our mom. So what exactly she thought would come of being at the top of the ladder, at the top of a staircase, by herself is a mystery to us all. But we’re glad that she’s alive and recovering in the semi-comfort of a good hospital in LV. My aunt Robin, my mom’s sister, is also in the hospital after being rear ended yesterday afternoon. I haven’t spoken with my Uncle this morning, but I’m hoping that Robin is doing better and at home.

So, it seems that me going in for surgery on Friday will complete the “It comes in 3’s” circle (hope, hope, hope). I am a little bit more anxious this week with the surgery in my sights. I’m not nervous about the surgery; I’m nervous about getting our house in order before Friday, completing my errands, and stocking the fridge/freezer. My MIL, Irene, arrives Thursday night to take care of the girls (and Mike) while I’m in the hospital on Friday, but then it’s back to just the 4 of us on the weekend. I’m hopeful that this “minor” reworking doesn’t slow me down too much. I’m basically getting the weekend to recover, and then we’re back in full swing with life and the girls’ activities come Monday. I’ve not yet had a “meltdown”, but I definitely feel like I’m running out of time before the newpples land.

People respond differently to stressful situations; it’s part of who we are. My response, learned from our dad, is to do something – ANYTHING other than just get in the hamster wheel and run in circles. I guess that’s why I’m trying to knock out 1,000 hours of projects, errands, and preparation in 168 hours’ time. I learned from my Stage 1 bilateral mastectomy and DIEP flap reconstruction process that I am more afraid of the unknown than pain. Pain can be treated. When there’s a bunch of unknowns in my future (recovery time, outcome, physical limitations, etc.), I feel like I need to over prepare for the worst. I guess I’m a pessimist in that manner; I expect and prepare for the worst. Luckily, in such situations, my husband is an optomist. This works out well for our family because it usually means that only one of us is losing our mental capacity at a time.

Speaking of working out, I’m in my last week of post-op-pre-op workouts. Yesterday, I made 15 horrific attempts at pull-ups, completing only one full pull up. It was a total bummer, but it gives me something to set my sights on once I’m done with medically prescribed taking it easy. I only have to take 2 weeks off of physical activity, but then I have to limit my work outs until my newpples are settled in.

“If you can’t fly, then run. If you can’t run, then walk. If you can’t walk, then crawl. But whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”

So, here I am getting closer to being finished and fine…